Imagine you meet someone at a social or networking event and you notice that their eyes are continuously wandering around the room, would this person make a good impression on you? Would you perceive them as a magnetic or charming individual? Chances are that you will not. Their mind can be somewhere else, getting distracted by their cell-phone and not focusing on conversation, as if they are trying to find someone more important than you in the crowd. In all likelihood, you won’t have any desire to continue talking to them.
Otherwise, if you meet someone who gives all their undivided attention to you and appears to be fully involved in the conversation, then you are sure to find them interesting and approachable. In case that person’s cellphone rings and they don’t answer it, it means that their meeting with you is more significant that that call. They are ready to devote their time to you. Such attitude will make you feel important and appreciated, which definitely puts your interlocutor in the positive light.
Here are 6 rules of impression management that can help you to earn fame of a charming person and win people over to be remembered and liked.
1. Empathy – the ability to perceive reality from another person’s perspective and understand what they are feeling at the moment. To be empathic would mean to pay all your attention to them and to be completely present with them. This way you will be able to notice their mood, gestures, face expression or other projections and place yourself in their shoes.
2. Good listening skills – the ability to really hear what message someone is communicating to you, both verbally and nonverbally. Take a person who keeps interrupting you and wants to always cut in the conversation during the conference social hour. They only think about themselves at that moment, thinking about what smart to say, how to look important and impress you. They are not on the same wavelength with you, and therefore, are not listening to you. To be a good listener, avoid being distracted and stay truly present in the moment, concentrated on your interlocutor.
3. Eye contact – the ability to meet and keep someone’s gaze. This is one of the most influential forms of human connection. There’s a neuroscience research that proves that when our gaze wanders, it is equivalent to our mind wandering. That’s why your intuition is telling you, if someone’s gaze shifted away, their attention also faded away. But the more you are consciously present and looking into the person’s eyes, the more powerful will be the effect of communication.
4. Enthusiasm – the ability to encourage a person by praising their actions or ideas. The main point here is that enthusiasm is hard to fake, because it’s such a natural emotion. Due to this, it’s a good idea to sincerely engage with what a person is doing or saying. For sharing this enthusiastic emotion with people, you might want to feel it yourself first to the fullest. And, of course, being fully present and engaged is indispensable.
5. Self-confidence – the ability to behave naturally with assurance, without worrying what others might think. Have you noticed that when you worry too much about how you appear in front of others, you end up coming across as a nervous or inauthentic person? The thing is that your focus is placed on yourself, not someone else. To appear naturally confident, genuine and composed, you should be fully present and switch your focus from yourself to another person.
6. Skilful speaking – the ability to connect with others on a deep level. Keep in mind that the only way to make an impact on the audience, is to tune in with them. This can be done if you are 100% present and are feeling them out by filtering their behaviour, words and actions and responding appropriately. Provided you adjust your tune to theirs, there’s a good chance that you will be heard and understood. Pick your words wisely and speak skilfully.
Having said that, by using these abilities in any type of communication with others, it is guaranteed that you will connect with people on a more profound level, making them feel not only seen, but also heard. If you are sincerely interested in another person, chances are high that you will become likeable and trustworthy. If people trust you, they will be ready to build relationships with you. New relationships mean new opportunities. New opportunities leverage your business and influence all aspects of life. So why not to use this chance?